Sohl responsibilities..

This weekend our church started a new series called, "The Power of Words." Pastor Bil discussed the importance of stating what you want, and this reminded me of a few lessons I learned in college.

I'm sure that most colleges assume students will take responsibility to attend classes, both physically and mentally, from the day they arrive until they graduate. It seemed that I missed that memo, as my first two years in college were less formally educational, and more socially educational. Upon receiving my grades, I learned that I had to be present to learn the lessons intended. I was reminded of this responsibility today when my son was trying to help during my frenzied attempt to clean up around the house.

I'd asked him to put a few things in the garbage while I did x, y, z, and thought about the other fifteen things I needed to accomplish. I was multi-tasking, just as most other adults feel they must do to survive each day. Imagine my surprise, then, after 10 minutes, when I found the exact things I'd asked to go in the garbage, in my dishwasher. I instinctively began lecturing, telling him how important it was to listen, to which he responded by immediately dropping crocodile tears. Surprised by his quick reaction, I demanded, "Why are you crying?"

"You said put them in the sink." Now it's important to note that my son is very much an auditory child, and with this knowledge, I pressed my mental rewind button: I had asked him to put them in the dishwasher. As I wasn't attending mentally, I again missed my intended lesson, and received another one instead.

Another lesson, learned once I attended classes as intended, my education professors taught was that we should always state what we want children to do, rather than what we don't want them to do. This lesson stuck for two reasons. First, it was highlighted with this example: Don't think about your pants. Don't think about their color, don't think about the material, don't think about the length, the feel, the size, the number of times you've worn them. Don't think about where you bought them. Don't think about your pants. Now, what are you thinking about?

Second, the professors stressed the importance of our responsibilities as teachers, that we set children up for success by outlining what we want them to do, by stating only those expectations. I'd be so bold as to say that this lesson would be well served with adults, too. We want our spouses, our friends, our families to be successful in relationships, in finances, in business, etc., and we can help them to be so by encouraging them to state what they want from those experiences.

So I have a new Sohl responsibility, to state what I want. I wrote down my two things I really want for my professional self. I want to be a curriculum director, and I want to sell 8 diaper cakes a month. I also thought about two things I want in my personal life. I want to enjoy my children growing up, and to laugh more with them. I also want to reinstate a date night with my husband, and hold that night as sacred. What do you want?