During one of our recent Hometeam meetings, we discussed one of Pastor Bil's messages about the power of our words. One of the questions posed by our Hometeam leader was, "How do you respectfully disagree?"
As I've considered this idea, some days it feels like regrettably my internal, and sometimes my external response is, "I don't. I'm right, and whomever I'm talking to already knows that or soon will." On those days, then, I'm not honoring God's will for me. I'm not loving everyone, not offering them the kind of unwarranted, undeserved acceptance that God offers me.
One specific case of this is with my Sohl son. All too often, I take the "my way or the highway" approach with him, and as I consider it now, no wonder he seems to be completely frustrated and spirit-crushed when I'm around. I don't necessarily even consider his ideas, so I'm not even giving myself a chance to respectfully disagree with him. I can imagine it would be difficult, or more correctly, impossible, to work with someone who never allowed me to try things my own way or make my own decisions. Granted, there are some instances where for safety's sake or schedule's sake, he really can't do what he wants; however, I'm praying for more opportunities to allow, yet disagree with his decision.
Another common arena for disagreements comes in parenting, and even more specifically for me, from other stay-at-home moms. Breast or bottle; co-sleeping or crib sleeping; solids at 4 months or 6; preschool/public school or home-school; water or juices or sodas; fast food or organic foods; TV or no TV; crafts or sports. While none of these decisions are truly a one-choice response, they are but a small portion of the battle grounds facing a stay-at-home mom. As fiercely as she might defend her children, some moms defend their choices made out of love, sometimes even going as far as to shame another mom or argue about the expert who said... In these instances, I declare a truce: let's all recognize that we do what we know how, the best we can, and need support from others to keep going, .
Respectfully disagreeing in my mind means that we allow others to share their viewpoints, share their ideas, share their strategies, and refrain from criticizing them. It doesn't mean we become "yes-people," simply agreeing with their ideas, strategies, and viewpoints. I see it as dialogue, a conversation, with each side sharing their knowledge. Sometimes we walk away with new ideas, sometimes we walk away more convinced of our "correctness of thought." Either way, we walk away still representing the ideals God laid before us in the Bible, as we loved the person or people enough to hear them, and talk with them, without talking at them, and ignore their input. Don't you agree?
Friday, March 9, 2007
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Sohl Titles...
Unless you're an education professional, a children's literature connoisseur, or spend a great deal of time perusing the library shelves, it is easy to become overwhelmed by the choices offered in children's books. Here are a few of my current favorites.
How Are You Peeling: Foods With Moods, by Saxon Freymann and Joost Elffers. This is a great book if your child needs work on identifying feelings and emotions. The book uses fruits and veggies to demonstrate emotional reactions.
Skippyjon Jones, by Judy Schachner. Cute illustrations, lots of Spanish vocabulary, and cute rhyming action make this a fun read-aloud. My Sohl son asks for this book all the time.
Lizzy's Do's and Don'ts, by Jessica Harper. Most children hear a list of don'ts, and Lizzy is no exception. In this book, Lizzy and her mom discuss this things she isn't allowed to do, and create a list of things they are allowed to do.
Birthday Monsters, by Sandra Boynton. A gift for Carter's first birthday, this book is classic Sandra Boynton silliness, with great rhyming. Short and sweet, we like this one just before bedtime.
Manana, Iguana, by Ann Whitford Paul. (Think the Spanish word for tomorrow) This book is a retelling of the Little Red Hen, with obvious Spanish influences. It has a Spanish pronunciation guide, and cute illustrations.
What are some of your favorites?
How Are You Peeling: Foods With Moods, by Saxon Freymann and Joost Elffers. This is a great book if your child needs work on identifying feelings and emotions. The book uses fruits and veggies to demonstrate emotional reactions.
Skippyjon Jones, by Judy Schachner. Cute illustrations, lots of Spanish vocabulary, and cute rhyming action make this a fun read-aloud. My Sohl son asks for this book all the time.
Lizzy's Do's and Don'ts, by Jessica Harper. Most children hear a list of don'ts, and Lizzy is no exception. In this book, Lizzy and her mom discuss this things she isn't allowed to do, and create a list of things they are allowed to do.
Birthday Monsters, by Sandra Boynton. A gift for Carter's first birthday, this book is classic Sandra Boynton silliness, with great rhyming. Short and sweet, we like this one just before bedtime.
Manana, Iguana, by Ann Whitford Paul. (Think the Spanish word for tomorrow) This book is a retelling of the Little Red Hen, with obvious Spanish influences. It has a Spanish pronunciation guide, and cute illustrations.
What are some of your favorites?
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Sohl responsibilities..
This weekend our church started a new series called, "The Power of Words." Pastor Bil discussed the importance of stating what you want, and this reminded me of a few lessons I learned in college.
I'm sure that most colleges assume students will take responsibility to attend classes, both physically and mentally, from the day they arrive until they graduate. It seemed that I missed that memo, as my first two years in college were less formally educational, and more socially educational. Upon receiving my grades, I learned that I had to be present to learn the lessons intended. I was reminded of this responsibility today when my son was trying to help during my frenzied attempt to clean up around the house.
I'd asked him to put a few things in the garbage while I did x, y, z, and thought about the other fifteen things I needed to accomplish. I was multi-tasking, just as most other adults feel they must do to survive each day. Imagine my surprise, then, after 10 minutes, when I found the exact things I'd asked to go in the garbage, in my dishwasher. I instinctively began lecturing, telling him how important it was to listen, to which he responded by immediately dropping crocodile tears. Surprised by his quick reaction, I demanded, "Why are you crying?"
"You said put them in the sink." Now it's important to note that my son is very much an auditory child, and with this knowledge, I pressed my mental rewind button: I had asked him to put them in the dishwasher. As I wasn't attending mentally, I again missed my intended lesson, and received another one instead.
Another lesson, learned once I attended classes as intended, my education professors taught was that we should always state what we want children to do, rather than what we don't want them to do. This lesson stuck for two reasons. First, it was highlighted with this example: Don't think about your pants. Don't think about their color, don't think about the material, don't think about the length, the feel, the size, the number of times you've worn them. Don't think about where you bought them. Don't think about your pants. Now, what are you thinking about?
Second, the professors stressed the importance of our responsibilities as teachers, that we set children up for success by outlining what we want them to do, by stating only those expectations. I'd be so bold as to say that this lesson would be well served with adults, too. We want our spouses, our friends, our families to be successful in relationships, in finances, in business, etc., and we can help them to be so by encouraging them to state what they want from those experiences.
So I have a new Sohl responsibility, to state what I want. I wrote down my two things I really want for my professional self. I want to be a curriculum director, and I want to sell 8 diaper cakes a month. I also thought about two things I want in my personal life. I want to enjoy my children growing up, and to laugh more with them. I also want to reinstate a date night with my husband, and hold that night as sacred. What do you want?
I'm sure that most colleges assume students will take responsibility to attend classes, both physically and mentally, from the day they arrive until they graduate. It seemed that I missed that memo, as my first two years in college were less formally educational, and more socially educational. Upon receiving my grades, I learned that I had to be present to learn the lessons intended. I was reminded of this responsibility today when my son was trying to help during my frenzied attempt to clean up around the house.
I'd asked him to put a few things in the garbage while I did x, y, z, and thought about the other fifteen things I needed to accomplish. I was multi-tasking, just as most other adults feel they must do to survive each day. Imagine my surprise, then, after 10 minutes, when I found the exact things I'd asked to go in the garbage, in my dishwasher. I instinctively began lecturing, telling him how important it was to listen, to which he responded by immediately dropping crocodile tears. Surprised by his quick reaction, I demanded, "Why are you crying?"
"You said put them in the sink." Now it's important to note that my son is very much an auditory child, and with this knowledge, I pressed my mental rewind button: I had asked him to put them in the dishwasher. As I wasn't attending mentally, I again missed my intended lesson, and received another one instead.
Another lesson, learned once I attended classes as intended, my education professors taught was that we should always state what we want children to do, rather than what we don't want them to do. This lesson stuck for two reasons. First, it was highlighted with this example: Don't think about your pants. Don't think about their color, don't think about the material, don't think about the length, the feel, the size, the number of times you've worn them. Don't think about where you bought them. Don't think about your pants. Now, what are you thinking about?
Second, the professors stressed the importance of our responsibilities as teachers, that we set children up for success by outlining what we want them to do, by stating only those expectations. I'd be so bold as to say that this lesson would be well served with adults, too. We want our spouses, our friends, our families to be successful in relationships, in finances, in business, etc., and we can help them to be so by encouraging them to state what they want from those experiences.
So I have a new Sohl responsibility, to state what I want. I wrote down my two things I really want for my professional self. I want to be a curriculum director, and I want to sell 8 diaper cakes a month. I also thought about two things I want in my personal life. I want to enjoy my children growing up, and to laugh more with them. I also want to reinstate a date night with my husband, and hold that night as sacred. What do you want?
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Valentine's Day Sohl Food
It has been a bit since I posted a Sohl food recipe, so I'll share our recipe for dinner last night. We created it to share with friends who recently celebrated the arrival of their firstborn son. My dad came up with this recipe, and everyone who's eaten it has wholly enjoyed the experience. I serve with whole grain or brown rice.
Chicken and Spinach Rolls
Shopping list:
Boneless, skinless chicken breasts (or unseasoned chicken breast tenders) - 1 per serving
Ziploc baggie
Creole or Cajun seasoning
Fresh Spinach - bagged spinach works well
Olive oil
3 eggs
Milk
Miracle Whip
Provolone Cheese
Bacon
Toothpicks
Italian seasoned breadcrumbs
Directions:
Preheat oven to 425.
1. Thaw chicken and place into Ziploc baggie. Use meat mallet to flatten (careful not to tear the meat).
2. Lightly season with creole or cajun seasoning. If you prefer spicier foods, season both sides. Place into fridge to marinate.
3.Meanwhile, place 3-4 cups fresh spinach in a lightly oiled skillet, stirring constantly until leaves wilt. Set aside to cool.
4.In a small bowl, beat 3 eggs, dash of milk, and 1 tablespoon of Miracle Whip. Mix well to create egg wash.
5.Lightly oil a baking sheet.
6.Set out remaining materials in order: chicken, provolone, spinach, bacon, toothpicks, egg wash, breadcrumbs, oiled baking sheet.
7. Lay out one chicken breast at a time. Add 1 slice (or 1/2 slice if using tenders) Provolone, some spinach, and roll as tightly as possible.
8.Wrap the outside with 1-2 strips of uncooked bacon. Use toothpick to hold in place.
9.Dip into egg wash, roll into the seasoned breadcrumbs, and place on baking sheet.
10. Bake until lightly browned and cheese is oozing.
Happy Valentine's Day from the Sohls!
Chicken and Spinach Rolls
Shopping list:
Boneless, skinless chicken breasts (or unseasoned chicken breast tenders) - 1 per serving
Ziploc baggie
Creole or Cajun seasoning
Fresh Spinach - bagged spinach works well
Olive oil
3 eggs
Milk
Miracle Whip
Provolone Cheese
Bacon
Toothpicks
Italian seasoned breadcrumbs
Directions:
Preheat oven to 425.
1. Thaw chicken and place into Ziploc baggie. Use meat mallet to flatten (careful not to tear the meat).
2. Lightly season with creole or cajun seasoning. If you prefer spicier foods, season both sides. Place into fridge to marinate.
3.Meanwhile, place 3-4 cups fresh spinach in a lightly oiled skillet, stirring constantly until leaves wilt. Set aside to cool.
4.In a small bowl, beat 3 eggs, dash of milk, and 1 tablespoon of Miracle Whip. Mix well to create egg wash.
5.Lightly oil a baking sheet.
6.Set out remaining materials in order: chicken, provolone, spinach, bacon, toothpicks, egg wash, breadcrumbs, oiled baking sheet.
7. Lay out one chicken breast at a time. Add 1 slice (or 1/2 slice if using tenders) Provolone, some spinach, and roll as tightly as possible.
8.Wrap the outside with 1-2 strips of uncooked bacon. Use toothpick to hold in place.
9.Dip into egg wash, roll into the seasoned breadcrumbs, and place on baking sheet.
10. Bake until lightly browned and cheese is oozing.
Happy Valentine's Day from the Sohls!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Musings of a Three year old... and SUCCESS!
This evening, David and I were discussing whether or not it was appropriate to go out for dinner. I said, "It's hard enough for me not to spend money. You're encouraging us right into the poor house." Our Sohl son then added, "The poor house is across the street from the deli," proving that even in the poor house, I'll still be tempted by culinary delights.
Later this evening, while we were at home cooking, David told Carter he was not allowed a piece of candy. Carter, acting the part of the inquisitive 3-year-old questioned, "Why?"
"Because I'm the boss of the family, and that's how the hierarchy works," David commented. To which Carter replied, "My family doesn't do anything." This proves that though today's outings included a craft store, party store, discount store, fast food joint, two home improvement stores, and the post office, we are still tempted to feel guilty that we aren't providing enough intellectual stimulation for our son.
Recently, during another cooking session, I dropped what proved to be a tempting morsel on the floor. Licking his chops, Carter said, "I'm gonna eat this like a dog," and proceeded to get down on all fours and ate the tasty treat, teeth only. This account makes it apparent that while my Sohl-mate and I have desperately tried to instill proper table behavior, the temptation of food is great even at his young age.
On an unrelated note, until a year or so ago, I was unfamiliar with the origins of the phrase, "doubting Thomas," in that I used the phrase but was unaware of its Biblical basis. I've considered myself a "doubting Thomas" when it comes to stories about the relationship between increasing a tithe amount and a sudden increase in funds. God has shown His power over the last few months in our finances. Though I've been making diaper cakes, babies, and wreaths since August, I've had no sales since October. This week, however, I was able to sell three diaper wreaths, hours after increasing our online weekly tithe. Prayer aside: Thank you God for the gifts which You provide. Help us to use them for Your glory. Amen.
Next weekend is the Home and Garden Show, and a Sohl friend is hosting a booth. I'm praying for her success, and have been supporting her this week in creating some of her most popular stock. I've sampled some of the products, and have had an absolute ball in both aspects of the project (though I have to say that the product is much more relaxing than the process ;) ).
Finally, David and I are in the process of updating the exterior of our home. We plan to use some of our tax return to add rock to our front yard, freeing us from the guilt of never wanting to pull the weeds which have overtaken the original landscaping there.
(Side note: when we looked at buying the home, I was slightly, scratch that, highly concerned about the workload included with the intricately landscaped front yard. Our real estate agent assured me it would be little to no up-keep, and I took her at her word. Now, after a visit from a nursery specialist, and having killed 3 Indian Hawthorns, ripping out countless rouge Spanish Heathers, and nursing our Bird of Paradise back from its unknown affliction, I see that our definitions of little to no up-keep were much, much different.)
We're also planning to purchase new lights
to adorn either side of our garage. I have never considered how hard it is to envision the exterior of a place I see everyday once inside a home improvement warehouse. After visiting both, we decided on the lights in the first one, of course, and will hopefully install those next weekend. Here's a picture of the one we decided to go with; we find it reminiscent of our front door. (Side note: we'd planned to also change the light over the front step as well. We realized that if we changed the outside light, we'd have to change the light just inside the door, seen through the high window over the door. If we changed the light inside, we'd have to change the light in the living room, and, well, if you've read any of Laura Numeroff's books, you can see where this leads. So instead, we'll just stick with the lights nearest the garage for now.)
Later this evening, while we were at home cooking, David told Carter he was not allowed a piece of candy. Carter, acting the part of the inquisitive 3-year-old questioned, "Why?"
"Because I'm the boss of the family, and that's how the hierarchy works," David commented. To which Carter replied, "My family doesn't do anything." This proves that though today's outings included a craft store, party store, discount store, fast food joint, two home improvement stores, and the post office, we are still tempted to feel guilty that we aren't providing enough intellectual stimulation for our son.
Recently, during another cooking session, I dropped what proved to be a tempting morsel on the floor. Licking his chops, Carter said, "I'm gonna eat this like a dog," and proceeded to get down on all fours and ate the tasty treat, teeth only. This account makes it apparent that while my Sohl-mate and I have desperately tried to instill proper table behavior, the temptation of food is great even at his young age.
On an unrelated note, until a year or so ago, I was unfamiliar with the origins of the phrase, "doubting Thomas," in that I used the phrase but was unaware of its Biblical basis. I've considered myself a "doubting Thomas" when it comes to stories about the relationship between increasing a tithe amount and a sudden increase in funds. God has shown His power over the last few months in our finances. Though I've been making diaper cakes, babies, and wreaths since August, I've had no sales since October. This week, however, I was able to sell three diaper wreaths, hours after increasing our online weekly tithe. Prayer aside: Thank you God for the gifts which You provide. Help us to use them for Your glory. Amen.
Next weekend is the Home and Garden Show, and a Sohl friend is hosting a booth. I'm praying for her success, and have been supporting her this week in creating some of her most popular stock. I've sampled some of the products, and have had an absolute ball in both aspects of the project (though I have to say that the product is much more relaxing than the process ;) ).
Finally, David and I are in the process of updating the exterior of our home. We plan to use some of our tax return to add rock to our front yard, freeing us from the guilt of never wanting to pull the weeds which have overtaken the original landscaping there.
(Side note: when we looked at buying the home, I was slightly, scratch that, highly concerned about the workload included with the intricately landscaped front yard. Our real estate agent assured me it would be little to no up-keep, and I took her at her word. Now, after a visit from a nursery specialist, and having killed 3 Indian Hawthorns, ripping out countless rouge Spanish Heathers, and nursing our Bird of Paradise back from its unknown affliction, I see that our definitions of little to no up-keep were much, much different.)
We're also planning to purchase new lights
to adorn either side of our garage. I have never considered how hard it is to envision the exterior of a place I see everyday once inside a home improvement warehouse. After visiting both, we decided on the lights in the first one, of course, and will hopefully install those next weekend. Here's a picture of the one we decided to go with; we find it reminiscent of our front door. (Side note: we'd planned to also change the light over the front step as well. We realized that if we changed the outside light, we'd have to change the light just inside the door, seen through the high window over the door. If we changed the light inside, we'd have to change the light in the living room, and, well, if you've read any of Laura Numeroff's books, you can see where this leads. So instead, we'll just stick with the lights nearest the garage for now.)
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