Shadows...

While I was getting ready one morning, my little SohlGal sat at my feet, playing. Suddenly, she lunged forward, reaching for something. She protested loudly, and lunged again. Watching her, I realized what had her undivided attention: the shadow of my hair dryer cord. This shadow had her mesmerized. She wanted it, and was working out anyway she could to get it. My gut reaction was to point out to her how the shadow worked, but listening to that voice in my head, I waited and watched her.

I started thinking about her, entertained by the shadow of something else. It made me wonder if God does that with me. I get fixated on something, working tirelessly to grasp it. I protest when I can't immediately reach it; I try any way I can think of to reach something I think I need or want. This observation made me wonder if I'm just lunging at the shadows of what God has for me. He just steps back for a bit, waiting for me to ask for His guidance, waiting for me to seek His will. He wants to teach me, show me His amazing plans once I'm willing to be a follower, and relinquish that control I never really had in the first place.

Shadows. They're tricky. Sometimes it's so bright outside, I seek them to protect myself. It reminds me of that quote from Akeelah and the Bee, originally written by Maryanne Williamson.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So I'm trying to step out of the shadows, stop grasping at the shadows of the things God has for me.