Humility...

For a long time, I think I've misunderstood the word humility. I think I was confused about humility and humiliation.

I've always thought that being a good friend, a good person, meant that you were a "'Yes' girl." Not just tolerant, understanding, "a good listener." It was more than that. Regardless of the situation, someone else's ideas were better, smarter, wiser. To be a good friend, a loyal friend, I should keep my purple ideas out of the pink conversation. Otherwise, I might inadvertently point out that she's wrong, that there are factors she hadn't considered, hadn't realized yet, and she'd be humiliated. And deep down, I now realize, too, if I kept my ideas to myself, I'd never have to say I was sorry for offending my friend. I'd never have to show humility; she couldn't humiliate me.

Thinking that humility was the same as humiliation, in the end I was the one humiliated . I helped myself into situations I really wanted no part in, allowed my self-concept to be contorted, rearranged, and for a long time, shattered. I let my standards down, didn't show my knowledge, my God-given talents and strengths.

But a friend recently showed me what a true, loyal friend really is. She helped me truly understand the difference between humility and humiliation. With a simple act that has not been a frequent occurrence for me, she demonstrated strength as a friend and woman, her character, and above all her humility. Thanks Alisa for clearing up so much for me.