I respectfully disagree...

During one of our recent Hometeam meetings, we discussed one of Pastor Bil's messages about the power of our words. One of the questions posed by our Hometeam leader was, "How do you respectfully disagree?"

As I've considered this idea, some days it feels like regrettably my internal, and sometimes my external response is, "I don't. I'm right, and whomever I'm talking to already knows that or soon will." On those days, then, I'm not honoring God's will for me. I'm not loving everyone, not offering them the kind of unwarranted, undeserved acceptance that God offers me.

One specific case of this is with my Sohl son. All too often, I take the "my way or the highway" approach with him, and as I consider it now, no wonder he seems to be completely frustrated and spirit-crushed when I'm around. I don't necessarily even consider his ideas, so I'm not even giving myself a chance to respectfully disagree with him. I can imagine it would be difficult, or more correctly, impossible, to work with someone who never allowed me to try things my own way or make my own decisions. Granted, there are some instances where for safety's sake or schedule's sake, he really can't do what he wants; however, I'm praying for more opportunities to allow, yet disagree with his decision.

Another common arena for disagreements comes in parenting, and even more specifically for me, from other stay-at-home moms. Breast or bottle; co-sleeping or crib sleeping; solids at 4 months or 6; preschool/public school or home-school; water or juices or sodas; fast food or organic foods; TV or no TV; crafts or sports. While none of these decisions are truly a one-choice response, they are but a small portion of the battle grounds facing a stay-at-home mom. As fiercely as she might defend her children, some moms defend their choices made out of love, sometimes even going as far as to shame another mom or argue about the expert who said... In these instances, I declare a truce: let's all recognize that we do what we know how, the best we can, and need support from others to keep going, .

Respectfully disagreeing in my mind means that we allow others to share their viewpoints, share their ideas, share their strategies, and refrain from criticizing them. It doesn't mean we become "yes-people," simply agreeing with their ideas, strategies, and viewpoints. I see it as dialogue, a conversation, with each side sharing their knowledge. Sometimes we walk away with new ideas, sometimes we walk away more convinced of our "correctness of thought." Either way, we walk away still representing the ideals God laid before us in the Bible, as we loved the person or people enough to hear them, and talk with them, without talking at them, and ignore their input. Don't you agree?